I was running on the neighborhood, huffing and puffing trying to clock-in my daily target of 4km, when I saw a black and white feathered bird chilling at the exact the same place I took a picture of the The Fifth Spirit Tarot’s Seven of Swords card a couple weeks earlier. And I thought to myself: another tarot imitating life moment.
During a recent tarot reading, the Seven of Swords kept appearing. And every time it did, I sucked my breath grudgingly. As you might have noticed, I had never written about it before because, well, I am kind anxious around it.
Especially the young me.
As a teenager living under a strict roof of my traditional Indian parents, I have called upon and emulated the Seven of Swords energy plenty of time. Tricking, not telling the whole truth or just plain lying to manipulating ━ I have done it all ━ just to have a chance of a normal teenager life; like eating pizza with friends, not coming straight home after school or going to a friend’s house over the weekend.
Learning the Seven of Swords as a tarot-loving adult unwillingly brought back all those childhood memories ━ or traumas, depends on how I feel like framing it. Either way, it wasn’t fun; hence I avoid hanging-out with the Seven of Swords.
Back to the reading, I was expecting advice along the “beware of trickers and manipulations” line, but the reader kept saying “strategize” whenever the Seven of Swords popped up.
At the end of the session, I asked why, and she said:
“Because it asks you to strategize. You might have the tools, but you need to know how to use it for your advantage to achieve what you want — kind of like The Magician.”
Seven of Swords is the strategy card
Before then, I had never seen the Seven of Swords in a positive light. Strategize doesn’t seem so bad, does it? Maybe I can work with it to slowly rewrite my childhood stories.
I pulled Ace of Swords from the Fifth Spirit Tarot deck today. Ace of Swords is about clarity, and my mind is anything but that.
My un-caffeinated brain (Fafa was out so no bed coffee for me this morning) is riddled with period haze, pending work-tasks, impending lockdown announcement, the messy desk, the even messier cupboards, and the ever-growing to-do list seems out of control, the floating-in-the-air goals and sans travel plans in the horizon.
So yeah, I feel anything but clear right now, but maybe that’s precisely why the Ace of Swords made an appearance. As in I am invited to bring clarity into my mind, my list and my life.
My hand is being offered the knife (Sword). Therefore, it’s my choice to grab it — or not. And if I do, what to do with it. Maybe it’s for me to use it to sort through things mentally first, before tending to the rest.
Travel Spread position —
- My vibe during the staycation
- The staycation’s energy
- Something to focus on or be mindful of during the staycation
- A must (do/see/experience) on the staycation
- The staycation’s highlights
- Souvenir or lesson learned from the staycation
Here is my reading for our Farm staycation —
My vibe during the trip: Four of Swords
The staycation’s energy: King of Cups
Something to focus on during the staycation: Strength
A must (do/see/experience) on the staycation: Judgement
The staycation’s highlights: The Sun
Souvenir or lesson learned from the staycation: Wheel of Fortune
I pulled Nine of Swords from the Moon Void Tarot deck today on my last working day of 2020.
Though it might be unusual to pull the gloomiest card on the tarot deck a couple of days before Christmas, I wasn’t surprised at all. I have anticipated my workday would be hell, and it was. Alas, it’s done now, and I don’t even want to think let alone elaborate about it anymore.
Let’s talk about the Nine of Swords itself. A card that dominated the year 2020 collectively ━ at least for most of us ━ included me during the large-part of #isolife.
The Nine of Swords is a card of sadness, depression, despair, helplessness, and inability to escape reality.
Whenever I pull the Nine of Swords, especially as a stand-alone card say as a card to describe my day, I feel like the air around me has been sucked and making me unable to breathe normally.
As I shared here before that I am not deterred when I pulled The Moon, The Death even The Tower card but Nine of Swords always want me to shove the card back into the deck, take a nap to restart my day and redo the reading.
There is no two-way about it, the Nine of Swords put a fear in me.
Aside to the depressive general interpretation of the card above, the image of it is also unpleasant.
The traditional Rider Waite Smith tarot deck depicts the Nine of Swords as a girl crying alone in her bedroom. Eek!
Also, I don’t particularly appreciate that on the most tarot deck I have seen, the Nine of Swords, if it has a person on it, is usually shown as a woman instead of a man. As if depression, crying and showing vulnerable emotions are more of a woman thing. It’s not. It’s universal. Let’s change the narrative!
Yes, I am sure the Nine of Swords also has some redeemable qualities about it and like all the card in the tarot deck, is here to guide and or teach us something. Maybe I can start a quest on Nine of Swords. An in-depth study on it so I can understand better and learn from it. But for now, I am just glad this card comes to me very rarely, and if it’s a stand-alone or where I wouldn’t want it to be the likely outcome or solution, I usually pull a clarifying card to ease up the pain of the many, MANY, swords.
This morning when I pulled the Ten of Swords, the image of me screaming in the shower after seeing a new meeting scheduled at 6PM came into my mind. I was furious especially since the invite came only minutes before the scheduled meeting time. December has been a trying time work-wise. I have been working overtime almost every day. I am exhausted by the end of each week.
In short, I am in the middle of a major burn-out, meetings fatigues and in severe need of time off.
So, The Ten of Swords appearance wasn’t a surprise, even though it’s not even the end of week yet. I am sure it’s the depleted vibe I have been carrying around with my mind all scrambled.
Ten of Swords proclaims that enough is enough. And to know when to tell that to someone, anyone, including myself.
I took today’s message from the Ten of Swords as to remove the “swords” that are stabbing the tree trunk (of my mind, of my spirit and of life in general), as depicted in The Spacious Tarot deck. To remove my worries and pressure I put myself through. Even if it’s not all together at once, at least one by one.
For a split second I thought the card was suggesting for me to get an acupuncture therapy to release some stress. Maybe I should consider it. Either way, it’s not going to happen today as I can’t wait to crash on the bed.
1.Where would I most benefit from a change of perspective?
Well, this was not a surprise; I am, after all a judge-y Virgo. Being judgmental and self-critical are my jam. And lately, my self-talk tends to be damaging. Maybe it’s because of work pressure or just an accumulation of 2020 fatigues; the bottom line is I haven’t been nice to myself lately. So yes, changing the perspective on how I see myself and slowly working on self-acceptance would definitely benefit me during this new moon.
2.How can I see this area of my life more clearly?
Each moment is temporary, focus on the things you can control. And we can’t control everything. How do we move through change and meet our discomforts with understanding and joy?
The Wheel of Fortune is inviting me to remember when this current life that I complain a lot about was the life I wished to have. And now that I have it, I should be grateful for it. It also reminds me that things will get better, the things that I struggle with at the moment will be the things I will achieve in the future.
3. What lesson do I need to learn right now?
The book’s interpretation of the card:
Complacency and boredom, a warning to come back to the present.
But I see it as being tired, needing a break. A clear sign to amp up my self care practice. Also, the cocktail glass sign at the back beckoned me to have a drink right after I finish writing this. Oh well, if the card said so, I shall follow the advice.
4.What opportunities can this open up for me?
Manifestation! Creating my reality my way. Of course! I have been counting my workdays for the year. I can’t wait to take a break, recharge and start planning and manifesting my 2021.
5. How can I invite more fun into my life?
Though I used the Moon Void Tarot deck when I did the spread, the Five of Cups in the Everyday Witch Tarot deck came into my mind as soon as I saw it. I think I have indulged in collective Covid negativity too long and too much that I stopped being grateful. Which to be fair, is admittedly a more challenging activity to cultivate amid feeling burned out. But I guess that is why now it is more critical than ever start using it as my daily tool again.
Meanwhile, interpreting purely from image of The Five of Cups on the Moon Void Tarot deck alone, I got the idea that having more fun for me might involve some kind of hobby — be it cooking (kitchen counter), painting (spilled ink) or photography (framed night sky).
6. Where should my attention be focused at this time?
Seven of Swords
The Seven of Swords can be interpreted as leaving a situation or even fleeing from a problem that I am not happy about. I think this card got to do more with work and yes, I can’t wait for my Christmas break next week.
I find it interesting that both the Four and Five of Cups showed up. Also that I pulled three major arcana cards and lastly, there was no Wands nor Pentacles suit.
Two cards feel out from my daily tarot card drawing today: The Hanged One (The Hanged Man) and the Eight of Swords.
I have been complaining this week. Actually, I have been complaining for a while tbh. I don’t think I have the fuel to go through the next five weeks. I don’t have it in me to juggle hectic work schedule, driving test, house hunting, socializing and everything else in between. I am constantly stressed out. Constantly tired. Constantly everything draggy. I am experiencing fatigue. Screen fatigue. Zoom fatigue. Closed-space fatigue. Lockdown fatigue.
I am so tired; I feel stuck (The Hanged Man), but the Eight of Swords which jumped together with the first card nudges me to think:
What if it’s all in my head?
What if I fix my currently all-tangled-up mind first?
Change my thinking, change my life kind of way.
I can do that, can’t I? at least I hope so.
And I will leave this with Joyce Meyer’s famous quote:
Keep your mind going in the right direction, and your life will catch up with it.
It has been my morning routine to pull a tarot card for the day.
This morning, it was the Ten of Wands. I half-expected to pull either this card or the Eight of Pentacles as I had another busy day ahead. But unlike yesterday, where my day was equivalent to the Ten of Swords energy (I didn’t draw the card, it was too chaotic of a day to even connect with the deck), today I was prepared.
I had written down the three most-important-things to tackle at work. I have stocked enough snacks to go through the four meetings and later to fuel me through the overtime. I even prepared a question to ask Clarissa Goenawan, the author of Perfect World of Miwako Sumida, who was going to have a zoom author meet and greet later today. At the same time, I have deferred some of my non-urgent tasks to next week, reducing the tasks on my Todoist app to the lucky number thirteen. And by the time I write this here, I have ticked off running, Indonesian groceries shopping, laundry and some other things from the list, leaving only five more things to either do tonight or to be rescheduled to tomorrow. and I am okay with both.
Ten of Wands is not a delightful card. In the reading, for a yes-no question, this card is the unwanted adjective to the answer. The:
“…but it’s going to be a hard work…”
or another variation of it, crowning it as the “long-sigh” card.
Even when you see the artwork depicting Ten of Wands in the Rider Waite Smith tarot deck, you can almost expect the man to release a long-sigh once he reaches his destination and able to put the ten of wands he has been carrying (albeit in a weird position).
I also let out a long sigh when I saw the Ten of Wands today, but mine was followed by:
“Hello there, old friend!”
As a Virgo sun and rising, I have fully embraced the energy of the Ten of Wands in my life, claiming it as a part of my character. My shadow show self. I knew all I needed to do was to put my warrior queen headband and go through my to-do list.
It’s my third day of working with the Spacious Tarot deck. I pulled my card of the day this morning and “huh?!”-ed it.
I have a packed day ahead. I have to work, run, and study chapter 3 from start and to finish. If I play my cards right (pun intended), I’ll be done right before my bed time. Enough time for me to sink on the bed with Nora Ephron’s Heartburn.
“Then why Four of Swords?”, I wondered.
Four of Swords is about resting, pausing and taking a break.
I couldn’t afford to take a break, I have an exam next week! So I put the card aside and went on with my day.
I cruised through work and got ready to change my gear into studying. But, for the love of all things Ethics, I couldn’t. I was tired and snooze-y.
And I tried.
I tried to study from 4PM which soon became 5.30 PM and then 7 PM. The minutes and hours kept passing, my brain refused to absorb anything.
I couldn’t focus however much I tried.
I admitted defeat at 9 PM and went to take a shower.
In the shower, I kept thinking about how bizarre the day has been.
Though I am not the most disciplined person I know, I am usually able to trick myself into studying. Be it with snacks, turning the chapters completion into games, or telling myself to commit just to one more page.
But no tricks worked today.
Oh well, If my brain refused to learn today, so be it I thought.
That included UberEats-ing bubble tea and telling myself I could play with my phone after every 45 mins of studying.
Then only it dawned on me — that was what the Four of Swords was telling me about in the morning. That, I would be resting even if it’s forced, instead of my own choosing.
Either that, or the card has been suggestively sending signals to my brain to rest all day.
Not that it mattered anymore. It is past midnight now. I will restart my study tomorrow. Hopefully this time, won’t get the Seven of Pentacles.