Justice Fifth Spirit Tarot
Tarot

Justice in Love

Admittedly, I “huh?“-ed when I pulled the Justice card as a part of my self-love tarot spread last week. My question was:

“What is the one kind thing I can do as an act of love for myself?”

Alas, I let them take the lead and braced myself to explore together.

The Justice in the Fifth Spirit Tarot deck is drawn as a bad ass person. I love everything about them from the expression, attitude, the down to the outfit. Did they appear to remind me of my own bad-ass-ness? To bring it out more often as an act of self-love?

I also noticed that on the scale, unlike on other Justice tarot cards I have seen ━ including the classic Rider Waite Smith, the heart weighed more than the feather. (I can’t wait for the guidebook to arrive to read the artist, Maria’s, reasoning behind this).

Justice Fifth Spirit Tarot

Are they trying to convey that heart matters more than the mind? Is it asking me to listen more to my heart instead of my mind when it comes to self-love? Or is it reminding me to balance it out since I tend to operate the other way around?

Wille of A Little Spark of Joy tarot blog said this about the Justice card in relation to love:

(it) represents decision and choices. Do you know your worth? settling for far less than you deserve, whether single or committed, is never an option.

Well said!

Back to the card I pulled, my attention kept going to the tattoos covering their upper body. Maybe my self-love act can be of getting the evil-eye tattoo on the same part of my body. And that my friends, is what I call wishful thinking.

Standard
Diary

Lockdown Diary: Day 2

Happy Valentine‘s Day! It’s the second day of the third lockdown. Gah! As soon as I typed it, I realised how polarising those two first two sentences were. Alas, both are valid.

My morning routine stays the same ━ bed coffee, morning journal and tarot cards.

Today’s card was The Hermit. I also pulled another card to honour Valentine’s day and wrote a semi-lengthy journal about it. I continued with yoga, short exercise and a 5km run at the Albert Park, which thankfully is still within the 5km limit set by the government.

We then stopped by the South Melbourne Market where I got free-range eggs, honey-lemon potion, pumpkin-seed bread, and other things to make a typical Aussie brunch menu: chill scrambled eggs on toasts with smashed-avo on the side.

I quickly prep the food back home, declaring it as Valentine’s day meal made with lots of love when I served it to Fafa. He got me a bunch of gorgeous pink tulips and pre-ordered a tarot deck (I KNOW!) for Valentine, the least I could do was to cook the man a warm meal.

After lunch, Fafa went to study to read up on his upcoming project while I did a bit of reading. Then I started watching Contagion and dozed off half-way before waking up to Fafa sitting beside me, watching the finale of Your Honor.

There is nothing much to share about the lockdown nor my feelings about it, except maybe it looks like it’s going to last more than five days which gives me a bit of anxiety. But I have decided no point in dwelling about it today and ruin my restful Sunday.

Before I leave for the day, let me share one of my favourite poetry about love by one of my favourite poet, Bianca Sparacino:

My god, I hope you find love. And I don’t just mean that in regards to someone you wrap your tired bones around at night. I mean that I hope you find love in every aspect of your life. I hope you find it tucked into early morning sunrises, and the smell of your favourite places. I hope you find it strung between the laughter you share with your friends, I hope it bounces off of you when you hug the people you care for,  I hope it swells within your ribcage whenever you hear your favourite song, or discover something that moves you. I hope you fall in love with growth, and change, and the messiness and the beauty of fucking up, and making mistakes, and becoming exactly who you want to be. I hope you find love in places that were once void of it, in places within yourself that you could have been softer to, kinder to, in the past. Because if there is one thing I have learned, it is that love is so much more than a boy, or a girl, who holds your heart. Love is everything around you. It is everything.

I truly hope you had a love filled Valentine day. Sending you virtual blessings and love 💌.

 ❥K

Standard
Musings

5 AM Thoughts

Yet another day, I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling refreshed.

Instead of coaxing myself to go back to sleep, I stupidly invited what I called as the 5-AM-thoughts to seep into my brain and start its’ dance.

It first started with my thoughts about court cards in tarot to the witch bookmark that kept popping up on my IG feed. Then moved to Tom Harlock’s massive self-love, to the New Moon in Scorpio (whether it could be the reason of my restlessness), to being thankful for quirky bookstores like The Moon Singapore.

I reminded myself to finish the current journal before moving to the red Harry Potter journal I bought on a whim last week and to put some stickers on the journal.

The last one was why the heck have I never treated myself to a writing retreat even though I have always wanted to do it and been jealous of others who have done it.

Time to indulge myself a bit. So:

I am going on writing retreat next year!

Either that or I will book a semi-fancy hotel-stay-cation for myself. Where I can chill, write, order room service and (let’s be real, here) watch some trashy TV.

Standard
Musings

10 Things I Like About Myself

Happy Monday!


I took off today (hence the happy part of the earlier greeting) to read and write which I didn’t do until 11 AM because I was watching 73 Things You Missed in Final Destination 2 (2003) — adding zero value to my life.

Alas, I managed to muster enough discipline cells to close my laptop and turn on my Kindle to continue reading Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies.

One page in, the author gave a test:

Right now, write down then things you like about yourself.

Paragraph 1 Chapter 3 Part 2 of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who’s Been There by Tara Schuster.

She acknowledged that it could be a daunting challenge, but to do it anyway.

I decided to one-up her test by not only coming up with the ten things but also sharing it here with you. By which I am hoping you would indulge Tara and me by writing your version of the things you like about yourself. It matters not how many (three or ten) nor where (here, online or in your secret diary), try to write it as soon as you can without overthinking about it.

Here is mine:

  • I am good with directions.
  • and in Maths.
  • I strive to grow and keep learning.
  • I am pretty independent.
  • I am open-minded.
  • I am adaptable – a trait I build from migrating to Jakarta then Singapore then Melbourne.
  • I am curious by nature.
  • I enjoy my own company.
  • I can eat and enjoy food without an ounce of guilt.
  • I don’t care much about people’s opinion about me. Case in point: I am writing about ten things I like about myself on a Monday morning and share it on the internet.

Writing the above list reminded me of what Adrienne from Yoga’s Adrienne said in at least two of her videos that I watch the most:

“If I can do it on YouTube, so can you!”

— ditto me to you!

Standard
Musings

Be The Heroine of Your Life

Recently, Jik and I started a new routine at work.

We send each other quotes of the day during office hours.

Sometimes I send her something that represents my feeling for that day. Other times absurd but inspiring Mindy Kaling quotes.

And the quotes she shared, at times about random stuff, never fail to make me smile.

It’s just a tiny, even silly gesture, but I have started to look forward forward to it, especially during pulling-my-hair-but-holding-my-tongue work moments.

Today though I struggled to find something that feels right.

That was until I stumbled upon: 

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

Nora Ephron.

Yes, it’s a choice. Let’s choose the one that emits superpower.

Isn’t self-love great?!

I am kinda proud of myself for not getting too distracted by Olitz’s on and off and so on and maybe off-again romance scenes playing in the background. 

I just sent it to her, waiting for her move now.  

Standard