Justice Fifth Spirit Tarot
Tarot

Justice in Love

Admittedly, I “huh?“-ed when I pulled the Justice card as a part of my self-love tarot spread last week. My question was:

“What is the one kind thing I can do as an act of love for myself?”

Alas, I let them take the lead and braced myself to explore together.

The Justice in the Fifth Spirit Tarot deck is drawn as a bad ass person. I love everything about them from the expression, attitude, the down to the outfit. Did they appear to remind me of my own bad-ass-ness? To bring it out more often as an act of self-love?

I also noticed that on the scale, unlike on other Justice tarot cards I have seen ━ including the classic Rider Waite Smith, the heart weighed more than the feather. (I can’t wait for the guidebook to arrive to read the artist, Maria’s, reasoning behind this).

Justice Fifth Spirit Tarot

Are they trying to convey that heart matters more than the mind? Is it asking me to listen more to my heart instead of my mind when it comes to self-love? Or is it reminding me to balance it out since I tend to operate the other way around?

Wille of A Little Spark of Joy tarot blog said this about the Justice card in relation to love:

(it) represents decision and choices. Do you know your worth? settling for far less than you deserve, whether single or committed, is never an option.

Well said!

Back to the card I pulled, my attention kept going to the tattoos covering their upper body. Maybe my self-love act can be of getting the evil-eye tattoo on the same part of my body. And that my friends, is what I call wishful thinking.

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Diary

Lockdown Diary: Day 2

Happy Valentine‘s Day! It’s the second day of the third lockdown. Gah! As soon as I typed it, I realised how polarising those two first two sentences were. Alas, both are valid.

My morning routine stays the same ━ bed coffee, morning journal and tarot cards.

Today’s card was The Hermit. I also pulled another card to honour Valentine’s day and wrote a semi-lengthy journal about it. I continued with yoga, short exercise and a 5km run at the Albert Park, which thankfully is still within the 5km limit set by the government.

We then stopped by the South Melbourne Market where I got free-range eggs, honey-lemon potion, pumpkin-seed bread, and other things to make a typical Aussie brunch menu: chill scrambled eggs on toasts with smashed-avo on the side.

I quickly prep the food back home, declaring it as Valentine’s day meal made with lots of love when I served it to Fafa. He got me a bunch of gorgeous pink tulips and pre-ordered a tarot deck (I KNOW!) for Valentine, the least I could do was to cook the man a warm meal.

After lunch, Fafa went to study to read up on his upcoming project while I did a bit of reading. Then I started watching Contagion and dozed off half-way before waking up to Fafa sitting beside me, watching the finale of Your Honor.

There is nothing much to share about the lockdown nor my feelings about it, except maybe it looks like it’s going to last more than five days which gives me a bit of anxiety. But I have decided no point in dwelling about it today and ruin my restful Sunday.

Before I leave for the day, let me share one of my favourite poetry about love by one of my favourite poet, Bianca Sparacino:

My god, I hope you find love. And I don’t just mean that in regards to someone you wrap your tired bones around at night. I mean that I hope you find love in every aspect of your life. I hope you find it tucked into early morning sunrises, and the smell of your favourite places. I hope you find it strung between the laughter you share with your friends, I hope it bounces off of you when you hug the people you care for,  I hope it swells within your ribcage whenever you hear your favourite song, or discover something that moves you. I hope you fall in love with growth, and change, and the messiness and the beauty of fucking up, and making mistakes, and becoming exactly who you want to be. I hope you find love in places that were once void of it, in places within yourself that you could have been softer to, kinder to, in the past. Because if there is one thing I have learned, it is that love is so much more than a boy, or a girl, who holds your heart. Love is everything around you. It is everything.

I truly hope you had a love filled Valentine day. Sending you virtual blessings and love 💌.

 ❥K

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Best Days
Celebrations, Diary, Musings

What Was The Best Day of Your Life?

What was the best day of your life?

The question popped out on my phone. Sent by Jik. It got me thinking. The thing is, I have many.

The days I spent with my cousins, driving around Jakarta to buy the best road-side food.

The weekend I went to Malaka with my Uni friends and made more friends by the time we went back to Singapore.

Our three weeks honeymoon in Japan.

The weekend I went to Goa to attend my cousin’s wedding.

The first time I saw the Autumn colours IRL.

The many moments I shared with Cheryl when we worked together.

The day I went to the theme park as a kid with just my parents. I was wearing a red dress, and they let me do water rafting. It was so fun. I felt so happy and excited, and a bit of a grown-up.

The day I got a salary hike.

The day I got approval to move to Australia.

The day I stood in front of the sixteen floors National Library in Singapore.

The day I noticed Vi entering the classroom wearing her purple pyjamas.

The days I spent in Phi Phi Island, wearing a bikini for the first time and learning to be confident in it.

The day I bought my first MacBook.

Birthdays.

The hours I spent in the bookstores. And the hours I spent in Spellbox.

The night of the New Year’s Eve when I met Fafa.

The drunken night walk with my cousins in Copenhagen.

The day I ate MSG ridden fried-rice in a Chinese restaurant in Italy after not having rice for more than a week for the first time in my life.

Japan days.

My first snowfall day.

The days where Fafa kindness was the only support I had.

The weekend in Uluru.

The hours Jik and I spent in coffee shops in Hong Kong.

The time with LOL memories.

Quality times I spent with Amma and the moments of hugging her.

The day my Amma complimented me on my cousin’s engagement day.

Drinking Karak Chai in Dubai.

The nights I sat on the beach.

The hours I spent in the kitchen with my workmates – having lunch or just taking breaks.

The days I spent with Erwin and Vivi, rediscovering Jakarta.

The days and nights I spent with Thu just messing around while trying to figure out life.

My days in Singapore.

First dates. Second dates.

The days where I do very little but don’t feel guilty at all. The days when I do so much and feel a sense of accomplishment.

My post-grad days.

Sleepover nights.

My wedding days.

The day I realised I had all the support I needed in life.

The afternoon in Brisbane when we took an hour Uber-ride to eat good Indo food.

The day I discovered Serial podcast while travelling in Europe, which led into the true-crime rabbit hole.

The day I took Shinkansen for the first time, the second time and every single time after that.

The day I set up my blogs excitedly.

My last working day in Singapore.

Those are some of my best days—the ones I would love to redo. I realised now that most of them involve being surrounded by my loved ones, travelling and discovering myself. Here is to creating space in my life for more of those kinds of days.

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Staycation Tarot Spread Moon Void Tarot
Travel

Meletos Staycation Tarot Spread

Last year Fafa got me a staycation at Meletos farmhouse as a birthday gift. Fifteen months and one more birthday later, we are finally going there this weekend. I pulled a few cards to re-create my go-to travel spread.

Travel Spread position —

  1. My vibe during the staycation
  2. The staycation’s energy
  3. Something to focus on or be mindful of during the staycation
  4. A must (do/see/experience) on the staycation
  5. The staycation’s highlights
  6. Souvenir or lesson learned from the staycation

Here is my reading for our Meletos staycation —

My vibe during the trip: Justice

When this card appears the Universe is working on restoring the balance.

OMG Yes! YES, 100% Yes. After experiencing burn-out in the past few weeks, I am counting on this staycation will help to tip the scale and bring it back to the work-life balance I strive for.

The staycation’s energy: Queen of Pentacles

Deep connection with nature.

For me, the Queen of Pentacles here represent Meletos itself. The farmhouse Meletos is a gorgeous boutique hotel located in acres and acres of land with uninterrupted views across vines and apple orchards to the blue-tinged Great Divide. In a word, it’s fancy. And I am so looking forward to just staying in and absorbing the energy.

Something to focus on during the staycation: The Lovers

An excellent time for us to connect, do fun couple activities. I am thinking wine tasting, long walks through the vineyards and bubble bath sesh.

A must (do/see/experience) on the staycation: King of Swords

King of Swords Moon Void Tarot

I struggle to see how the King of Swords would connect with our staycation, so I looked more intently onto the image. The element of fire pops up (also all Kings represent the element of fire). A reminder to get cozy-up by the fireplace maybe?

The staycation’s highlights: Nine of Cups

Nine glass of wine here I come!

Souvenir or lesson learned from the staycation: The Emperor

Similar to the King of Swords earlier, I turned into the image of the card to see its’ correlation with the staycation.

On the Moon Void Tarot deck, The Emperor card is missing the Emperor. It just has his crown and cape left on the throne. It looks like the Emperor is taking a break himself. It reminds me that everyone, even the Emperor, could benefit from taking a break from the daily duties now and then.

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Musings

Heartburn

Though it’s no match to I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts On Being a Woman, it’s so apparent from the first few paragraphs that Heartburn has also been drizzled with Nora Ephron’s magic. I finished the book over the weekend and enjoyed It immensely. Except for the cooking part. I wasn’t there for it.

Heartburn is a work of fiction that is heavily based on Nora Ephron’s life.

I find it refreshing that in the book Rachel, although was carrying a child and attending to a toddler, didn’t make the story about her pregnancy nor the baby. Instead, it’s about her, specifically her heartbreak.

The book managed to bend my opinions on people who forgive their spouses for cheating, before straightening it again.

It reinforces my life approach as an adult:

Well, it might be absolutely shit right now, but maybe there is a story in it

— me.

She showed me that you can hate someone (Thelma Rice, her husband’s mistress) but still be classy about it (e.g. she wrote about Thelma being funny or that she has long legs), inspired me to sign up for group therapy once this pandemic dies down as it might be good for me to talk things out, reminded me that strong friendships are important and to take my life lightly and my oath loyally.

I also find being proposed on a plane rather cute. And that Washington isn’t all that, New York is.

There were many more pages in the book I resonated with, but the last chapter, when she told herself: “No he doesn’t love you, you can throw the pie on his face” was the one that lingered until now, a week later when I type this post

What a relief it’s to realize no point staying in a relationship when the other person doesn’t love you after feeling hurt repeatedly. I remember the moment I felt the same, though it happened more than a decade ago, it was the moment I’ll never forget because that was the moment I chose myself. And that was also the moment Nora chose herself and moved back to New York.

In conclusion, Heartburn is absolutely a must for every woman who has been hurt, forgiven, and moved on.  I wish I had read it sooner.

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Celebrations

Happy Anniversary To The Man Who…

Happy Anniversary to the man who thought we have only been married for a year instead of two. I take it as the marriage life has been a breeze for you— ditto!

Happy Anniversary to the man who puts so much effort to keep me happy during the #ISOlife — from getting me bed coffee every morning to finding some good crime series to binge-watch together. Who drove more than the allowed 5 km limit to get my favorite Indonesian food a few times during the lock-down.

Happy Anniversary to the man who blames the weighing machine when I complain about my weight, the lighting when I think I look bad in the pictures, the weather when I am in a bad mood, the food when I get a pimple, the type of the houseplant when I kill yet another one. Because God forbid, it’s me who is in the wrong.

You know what bo? I kinda agree with you.

Happy Anniversary to the man who cleaned when I pretended to study, whose default setting is “you are prettier”. Who has been repeating the phrase “okay, let’s do what you want instead” way too many times.

Happy Anniversary to the man who, when I tried and failed miserably replicating an Ottolenghi’s recipe, took one look at the mess I made and declared that “Nah, this looks better than the one on the book” and proceed to eat the tasteless shredded pieces that were supposed to be meatballs.

Maybe I shouldn’t mention that we had to throw a large batch of the leftover the next day because it was that bad.

Happy Anniversary to the man who knows the meaning and difference between piu, miu, tiu, liu, giu, liaw, tiaw, miaw, and other words I invented on a whim. Who wants to frame my primary-school-grade-level paintings. Who calls me the Rice Queen but still puts half of his rice on my plate. Who stalks me on social media. Who respects my me-time but still peeks through the door ten times to see what am I doing. Who celebrates every single one of my minuscule achievements and tolerates most of my shortcomings (except for my loud chewing).

Happy Anniversary to the man who has been saying, “I miss Japan” more than “I love you” to me throughout this year. Me too.

Happy Anniversary Fa, life is good with you. I love you and I love the way you love me. Here is to another year of spoiling me in the name of marriage.

A&F.

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The Lovers Moon Void Tarot
Tarot

The Lovers Card in Tarot

Major Arcana Number 6

Image: naked couple, an angel appears under the sun above the cloud, snake on the apple tree beside the woman tree with fire beside the man, a mountain in the background. The first thing I noticed about Lovers card is the naked woman. The angle with the sun as his Hello is interesting as well.

Traits: Partnerships, love, passion, union

Elements: Fire and Earth

Events: Marriage, Date, Deal

Vibes: It’s a positive card.

Me and the card: I like Lovers Tarot card. The last time I drew the Lovers Tarot card I received a job offer.

Today: I am meeting my friend for dinner tonight. Maybe the card is representing it? Or that I have been thinking about my partner right before I drew the card. Maybe that energy matched and picked the card?

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The Lovers Moon Void Tarot
Tarot

The Couch Potato Lovers

Interestingly, I draw this card today only after I looked for and wondered when will I get it. At first, I was planning a date night out with Fafa, but we ended up being couch potatoes from 6 PM onwards. But I ordered food for him, rubbed his feet, let him choose the TV show,  his TV choice and cut some cheese and bread for him. All in all, we had a loving Saturday night, as depicted by the tarot card, even though it doesn’t involve a romantic candlelight dinner.

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