Four of Wands Fifth Spirit Tarot Deck
Tarot

At Home With The Four of Wands

We are looking for the Four of Wands“, Glenys the tarot reader told me as she laid out the black cloth with numbered boxes painted on it. She went on saying that:

“The Four of Wands is the card that indicates anything house related”.

Back home, after the unfavorable reading, I flipped through the Fifth Spirit Tarot deck on my nightstand to find the Four of Wands card.

It took me a while as the card didn’t resemble the classic Rider Waite Smith. In the RWS the Four of Wands potrayed fancy gown wearing people, garlands, grapes, flowers and a castle in the background.

There was none of it on the Four of Wands card that I was holding. There were no wands. Oil lamps have replaced the wands, surrounding a vintage cooker. Burning fire. A boiling kettle and a sizzling pan on top of it.

Could it be… breakfast food?

The image reminded me of the mornings in the Echuca farmhouse, where I was greeted by a very similar scene in the kitchen — of Fafa making us coffee and breakfast.

This card carries so much more home-ey vibe for me than the classic RWS. After all, I don’t envision a castle when I dream of my nest, but more of being greeted by a warm home-cooked meal.

I put the card on my altar for the day, to attract the new home energy that I wish for.

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Film Camera MjuII Kodak Ultramax 400 Sky Bird
Musings

5 AM Thoughts at 3.30 AM

My 5 AM thoughts visited me again today, only that it came at 3.30 AM.

It has been three days in a row that I haven’t been sleeping peacefully, but today it was much worse since I could not go back to sleep anymore.

I refuse to self-diagnose myself with insomnia. Self-diagnosing when it comes to health is a trait that has become second nature among my extended family. Hence my conscious effort to stir away from it. Even at 3.30 AM.

I think I just overstimulated myself yesterday; both mind and body. The brain has been forced to work since 8 AM yesterday, and it didn’t stop even until I went to bed. From office work, blog posts, personal errands and reading heavy stuff until I fell asleep.

Meanwhile, I also let myself binge-eat yesterday using the period excuse. From sugary drinks, spicy chips to late-night garlic rice.

As a result, the heated stomach and buzzing brain refused to let my tire-soul rest.


I thought about how it has been a while since I share my coffee-diary entries here. How I forever chase the golden-light in life, both literally and figuratively. Both topics are unrelated.

I wondered whether I would have developed a deeper and layered understanding of a language if I was not raised to be multilingual. Since even until now, I struggle to express myself a bit more in-depth. In any language. Not only that, I have passed an embarrassing number of reading materials, just because it’s too hard for me to digest.

I felt like there is a version of me who I want to be (the one who reads daily, who cooks often, who goes on hikes on the weekend and who runs a marathon) and there is the current me that is not there yet. This year is about closing the gap between those two MEs, or at least minimize the gap.

My thought then went to the unwrapped gifts in the living room. It’s for a party that I have been invited to, by someone I wouldn’t invite to mine. Funny, isn’t it? Someone can be your VIP, but it doesn’t always mean vice versa. If you think I was being mean, hey at least I got them a gift 🤷🏽.

I wrote a reminder to finish reading Patti Smith this month – preferably this weekend if I am good. And to visit a new-to-me neighborhood cafe before we move out from here. Also, to get a tarot journal.


– ❥K

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Tarot

Ten of Pentacles and The Introvert

I have always associated the Ten of Pentacles with family.

From having a family gathering, throwing a party and inviting your family or at the least celebrating the fact of having made it in life seen from your family or community standard. Those are pretty close to the traditional interpretation of the Ten of Pentacles: financial security, family, legacy and stability (for me, stability relates closely to family).

In the classic Rider Waite Smith tarot deck, the Ten of Pentacles depicted by three generations sitting in the courtyard with a castle in the background. It shows prosperity — excessively.

Echoing a few tarot readers sentiments, I too have a qualm with the classic image of the card. Firstly, why there is only an older man? If it’s of three generations, where is the older woman? Did she die? Why the young-ish couple’s body language doesn’t exude warmness? Why are they being showered by the coins? Are they purposely flaunting their wealth? If yes, yikes! And lastly:

If it’s a family celebration, where is the food??

Btw, I haven’t done deep-dive study nor worked enough with the Ten of Pentacles, but these are the questions that keep coming up when I see the Ten of Pentacles in Rider Waite Smith tarot deck.

Whenever I pull the Ten of Pentacles, the introvert in me paused. Yes, yay for a good-omen card! Yay, for completion but…

What if I don’t feel like celebrating with people today?

Because sometimes – well, most of the times – a celebration for me involves some me-time. I also most likely treat myself first as a reward for having tick-off my goals or having “made-it”. And those activities carry more of the Nine of Pentacles’s energy than the next card in the deck.

It also makes me wonder whether it means introverts journey stops at the Nine of Pentacles just because that’s where our happy place is? That doesn’t seem fair, does it?? After all, we also work as hard as our more social counterparts. We also deserve to obtain the 10th coin, but you know, in our own terms.

So you can imagine my delight when I saw the Moon Void Tarot deck depiction of Ten of Pentacles – which I draw during my morning ritual. The Ten of Pentacles here is seen from the vantage point of the slightly opened gates (adorned by carvings of pentacles), in front of it laid a beautifully tended garden leading to the front door of a house (more of a bungalow than a house, it’s Ten of Pentacles after all).

All tens are about completion, and the introvert in me relate more entering my own home at the end of a very eventful ten cards worth of journey instead of partying it up with the extended family in the piazza flashing our wealth to all the passersby.

Also, it’s nice to think that the Moon Void Tarot deck gave the choice of what’s-behind-the-door entirely to us. It can be just Netflix and stacks of books, or your cat, or your just partner or your entire family waiting for you to share a meal, or a coven of witches, heck even a full-on party. Giving the nod to your perception of “family”.

As for the interpretation of the card in regards to my day today? Well, it was pretty straight forward, we accepted a last-minute invite to our friends’ home for a cozy evening gathering. There was plenty of food.

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Musings

Level Up

Yesterday, unable to sleep, I played around my WordPress app and stumbled on Notification Page. It showed what I have done here so far that were worth notifying, albeit to myself — the person who did it in the first place.

But strangely, at 12.54 AM — when I was worrying for not being able to absorb a single sentence from Chapter 2 Part D of the Ethics and Governance — it made me feel, dare I say, somewhat accomplished?

As a goal-thirsty Virgo, I thrive on unlocking levels — be it games, exercise (loving the Nike Run app) and everything in between.

Then to find out, after more than a decade of blogging, that WordPress serves this kind of notification?

Oh WordPress I am here for it!

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Musings

2 Blog Goals After 2 Years

My two years of blogging have also taught me many things, mainly things like shoulda coulda woulda. So I made writing/blogging goals for myself:

Write the Draft Now

Not later, not tomorrow, not after I rescue the cat.

I wanted to write this post since yesterday, but sitting in front of a blank screen in the morning, I couldn’t come up with anything, so I didn’t. I thought I will do after lunch, nope, I went to the bookstore instead.

Not until this afternoon, when I was in the shower, I realized writing a post in one sitting is not my style.

I need to write a draft first.

A messy, headache-inducing draft even, but still I can write it anywhere anytime thanks to Evernote.

So when I sit down in front of the laptop to post an article, I don’t need to start from scratch, I just have to edit the draft, add pictures, and click publish.

Another one is:

Write Every Day

We all agree on the benefits of taking a blogging break every now and then, but do you know what’s the best thing about taking a writing break? Nothing.

I missed writing and even though I wrote in my journal every now and then during these breaks, I still struggled to get back into the blogging routine because I didn’t write every day.

So I shall write something, however short, but not a grocery list, every day. I believe it will help to keep the momentum going.

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