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Musings

Lockdown Diary: Day 5

It’s last hour of lockdown. Making it the shortest lockdown I have experienced so far, but didn’t mean it was in any way easy or got easier.

These five days have been a constant battle of staying positive.

I couldn’t take a mental health day off today from work, nor can I anytime soon. And by the end of workday today, I felt entirely drained, like I am running on empty.

Alas, it’s almost over now. For now. This wave.

Ps. After work, I watched Contagion to wind down. Weird choice, I know. It’s a good movie, eerily similar to the current situation.

Pps. Something random, I wondered about the zoo personnel during the lockdown. Some of them still have to go to work every day to feed the caged animals. Strange time we are living in.

Ppps. Tarot card of the day was the Seven of Pentacles from the Fifth Spirit Tarot deck.

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Seven of Wands Tarot Moon Void Tarot Crystals
Tarot

The Spacious Seven of Wands

With space as the guiding word for my year, I went through my tarot-mental Rolodex, to pick a card, which best represents space for me.

Not able to associate the space I have in mind with any major arcana cards (not even The Fool nor The World), I moved to the minor ones in sequence starting from the Wands suit. It was then it clicked, without needing to review the rest of the cards on the deck – the space energy I wish to invite for this year is represented in the Seven of Wands.

TBR, the Seven of Wands has never been a favorite – both as a Seven (I prefer Seven of Pentacles) nor in the Wands suit (I favor the Eight of Wands). It’s also the only Seven suits that I haven’t journal-ed about as I had never put much thought into it, until this week.

Also, the image of the card in the classic Rider Waite Smith deck is not pretty. It shows a man, with mismatched shoes, standing on a higher ground, ready to fight other wands pointing at him. But then, when I envision conquering 2021 by claiming my space, I so want to be that man. Ready to defend my place, come what may!

In tarot, Seven of Wands traditionally means courage, persistence, competition, challenges. It can also be about:

Perseverance, defending one’s territory and expansion which for me translates to space, space and more space.

Space Word of the year 2021 Echuca Farm Stay Melbourne Victoria Australia
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Space Word of the year 2021 Echuca Farm Stay Melbourne Victoria Australia
Musings

Space

Usually, I have my word of the year chosen days if not weeks coming into the new year (last year it was Growth). This year though my heart had a hard time selecting the right one. Maybe due to the Covid PTSD.

Joy and Authenticity kept coming up, and at some point, I even thought of combining them both to invent the new word: Joythentic. Because, why not?

But on the new year day, after the 2-hour phone convo with Jik where we fell into the topic of being brown women born into semi-traditional-ish brown families who are expected to behave a certain way while carrying the ancestral guilt both consciously and subconsciously ━ the word, my word of the year, crystallised in my mind:

SPACE

Space ━ a light word with such a heavy meaning attached to it. At least for me. Someone who had never given and eventually lived my life by never taking enough space for myself ever. Both literally and figuratively. I have managed to make myself (my thoughts and my life) smaller than I am (it is) throughout my life.

It’s about time for me to break the limitation set for me, which I unknowingly adopted even after I moved away from the community (Eight of Swords energy).

Space ━ I want this word to guide me throughout this year. To teach me to claim my space, to take space and to create space. I want to hold space for myself – past, present and future. To hold space for others. To expand my space (both literally and figuratively). To dwell into the liminal space. Even to stare into space and connect with the moon.

I have a feeling it won’t be easy to truly adapt this word into my life, as space is not one of my core values, but I want it to be. Therefore I shall invite space (Seven of Wands energy) into my life this year and work together with it.

– Here’s to S P A C E

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Happy New Year 2020
Celebrations, Diary

Happy New Year 2021

I wish you a happier, easier and more magickally precedented year 💛

Today we checked out from the lovely farmhouse airbnb we have been staying for a week, leaving Echuca behind and went back home to Melbourne.

On the way, we stopped at Bendigo where we had not-bad-for-a-town-lunch at Cantina Mexicana – though having to pay $3 for their bland AF sauce pinched me a little bit. Before leaving Bendigo, I went inside the Bendigo Art Gallery gift shop to almost buy a jewellery which I thought was made by an indigenous artist. It wasn’t. I didn’t get it.

3 hour drive later, we were back in our cozy Melbourne apartment. I was tired enough to take a short nap before the Japanese dinner we booked to continue the tradition of eating Japanese food and drinking sake on the new year’s day, even though we weren’t in Japan.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a good experience. The food was below standard, especially for the price they charge. Oh well, at least we got to eat Japanese food and tried a new thing (we had never been to the restaurant before and definitely never coming back) on new year’s day.

Back at home, I called my parents to once again wish them a very happy new year and promised that I would come ASAP once I got the vaccine. Then, I called Jik and we went on talking about everything under the sun that went on for more then two hours. After that, I listed down a few things I am grateful for today and with that I drifted off to the la la land.

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