Just when I started to feel a hint of nostalgia for my insomnia nights, or as I romanticised as “5 AM Thoughts“, it came for a visit. On a Monday night, when I desperately needed a goodnight sleep — after having to work 12 hours straight a few hours before — and about to take on a new task that requires me to start to work an hour earlier the next day, essentially, a few hours later.
And in case you don’t know yet, I am not a morning person.
The insomnia wasn’t a welcomed visit! Well, when is it, though?
It’s 2.36 AM now. I am tired. I should be sleeping. I tried to identify the culprit.
Is it the anxiety about the new task that I am taking on at work? Is it the stress of house hunting? Also, why do we call it house hunting — such a weird term for finding your forever place. Is it because I put too much spicy sauce on my tacos earlier? Or is this the aftereffect of the double spiked Sangria that I had with it? Is it the internalised sadness of not being able to travel for more than a year and, worse, not knowing when it will be next?
After tossing and turning for 88 minutes, I decided to give it space — to be listened to, mulled-over and recorded. Based on past experiences, writing these swirling thoughts seemed to be the only way to put it, together with my brain, to sleep.
My mind is filled with things. From winter soup to adopting a dog, from starting a tarot journal of the 78 cards in chronological order to the #100HappyDays challenge, from the narrowness of the house that we saw over the weekend to the size of the apartment we are living in, from the new work to old colleagues, from my first time in Japan to my last time in Japan, from Tynan to Beth, from filling the Indo tax to paying my future mortgage, from Parisian to witches.
Then there are things to write, books to read, food to eat and places to visit.