I made the mistake of checking the news on Covid case updates here in Victoria. It says things like:

“the 14-day average (is) higher than the target”, “mystery cases emerge”, “Melbourne won’t take full third step (to ease down the lockdown) next week”. etc.

I have been trying to stay positive as much as I can during this pandemic. I keep telling myself, as long as I can stay afloat, I can survive this. Even when at times it means taking a dip into depression inducing darkness, negativity, pessimism. uncertainty, fear and hopelessness.

“Staying afloat” has been my Covid mantra and pandemic survival mode.

As long as I resurface.

Today though, after reading it (all these came from one single click of a news link) — I came into realization that living in the midst of this pandemic and six months of on-and-off, with the last 6 weeks being a full-on, lock-down feels like being in an abusive relationship.

I would know because I had been in one in the past.

Covid related stuff constantly remind me that it’s not so bad.

That I should be grateful that the government is taking all precautions to make sure it can nip it in the bud (even-though it’s obviously a little too late). That me and my loved ones are healthy. That I still have my job. That yada yada yada..

Yes Covid, it is not that bad. At least not for me. And yes, in the grande-scheme of pandemic I do consider myself, dare I say, lucky.

But I also know and dying to scream out (only from my own balcony, of course, because f-ing lock-down) this is NOT okay. It can’t go on for much longer. I don’t deserve this. None deserve this.

Give our lives back!